Hola folks been a long time......

"Line up your life. Do your part by starting with you first. Think  responsibly, act responsibly, and create responsibly from the heart.  Live your light and  live your heart and it will be heaven on earth." Starting with yourself first - Ruth has been saying  this to me since she arrived, I have been ill since last I wrote -  no, no sympathy folks,  is all m' own fault - if we don't look after the body  it gives in and the  immune system folds and whatever virus is floating  around finds an easy  home, so I am multi vits and a tonic, plus eating  regularly/properly!! With lots of rest, my energy levels have never been so  low, well not in 20 years. .......mmmmmmmm Crikey how long ago did I write the above mmmmmm  and yes I think I must have had a virus as after the events close friends said  they were worried  about me as I looked really quite grey loverly LOL,  it all coincided with  the end of my "1st year" yeah it did come as a jolt  and you know I don't  think the first years is the worst no it's when that  first one ends and then  it really rocks home what has happened and how life  has changed and how  much I miss my best buddy, no matter how many lovely  friends I have and  I appreciate and adore each and every one of 'em and their different views  etc, none can know me as well as D did, there is no-one I can talk to as I did with him and the future stretches out..........along with not being well I went down emotionally to a low place not a place I want to share on  line apart from the  fact it could upset some who pass through here - but I am back and although  the hole is still there I am learning to live with it. Ruth having stayed with me for 6 weeks has now moved into an apartment just  round the corner - her sister and new hubby arrive on  the 24th till the 4th so  we will all be together for the new year - yep I shall go out this year how can  I not - the universe has ensured that it will be so :) Have I mentioned Remi her sister Carmen and Africa  to you ah well you will  catch up - I now do inter cambio with Africa every week and my Spanish is  improving poco poco and they are always popping in  and out as does Ruth so  life is no lonely - we had afoto shoot the other day as I got them to model  some of my crochet so let me introduce them to you  - Africa Carmen Remi Africa and Carmen A new shop on the high street has opened run by an artist who s ells her  artwork along with flowers and strangely enough pet products -  anyway  she is only too happy to take my stuff, so at last a permanent  space within  the village - she has masses of space when it gets cleared and she is gonna be doing exhibitions and says I could have an exhibition of my stuff....mmmmmm ......she also wants to create a space for people who want to come  and chat  with a cultural edge to it........ little birdies have been telling me a lot of "lighted" people are  turning up here  of late as well, bring 'em in :) Squidge is now all chipped and jagged, now just the long wait till her blood  results come back from Madrid which takes about 3 months........ Funny how one tabletop sale can be so different from another last month  I did really well this month despite being the Xmas fair I sold nadir  - hey ho  well I have been invaded by the ladies so much concentration needed  to  follow and join in conversations Blessings Be xx Powered by ScribeFire.

Looking in out on and up.......

There is a need for concentration on whatever part of our individual, mental, or spiritual education needs finishing as we stand on the threshold of moving into Saturn in Libra and all the radically different lessons that will bring. It will certainly restructure whatever area it falls in our charts, with methods moving from known Virgo routines into potential Libra routines.October has been a dress rehearsal for lessons to come between April and July 2010, the last time Saturn will be in Virgo until 2036. That will complete our Virgo lessons and restructuring.Saturn crystalizes all it touches. It gives structure, boundaries, limitations, and clarity about things through its patient, steady rhythm of unfoldment. The life principle symbolized by Saturn is said to be "exalted" in Libra. That means that Saturn finds its "grounds for greatest growth" in the sign of Libra. If nothing else, it shows the need for responsibility in all of life's contracts. These include the "contracts" we make with our Higher Self as well as worldly involvements.[aquarius papers] So if Libra falls in the sun what does that mean in real terms?? Ansas on a postcard please..... Well I gotta like this bit :)  Libra's reasonableness and moderation are healthy antidotes for the stubborn selfish extremism that seems so prevalent today. but I never said I was free of ALL the traps lol Libra, when freed of the traps of superficiality, vanity, extravagance, timidity, indecisiveness, vacillation, impatience, and getting too theoretical, demonstrate a harmonious, cooperative, agreeable impartial consideration for others that brings a greater sense of belonging to everyone involved. Despite all that is going on around me I have been able to get some crochet done, a few basics bags n slippers, started on a shawl and then got the urge to start another jacket, Kurt, Ruth's brother is going to take some good pics for me and they are on about putting it together in some kind of catalogue, so much enthusiasm and many ideas flowing...we shall see what actually becomes reality........ I am aware of this totally new energy now in my home, don't get me wrong it aint bad - just very different - something that I need to adapt to and recognise what there is to learn from it, why it is here and now.....fodder for thought We contacted Julia [Ruth's daughter if you can't keep up or track, not surprising, am amazed I am managing to thus far] earlier to see if she and Selina, her daughter, would come out for a week.....she is thinking about it...... Thinking some more about the J boy, I cannot "blame" him, I was bordering on obsessive when it came to what one got the other did equally, or at least I believe I tried, maybe J & L see it from a different perspective, so all J is endeavouring to do now is "keep the balance" Ruth & I spent some time this morning talking about how we perceived our kids childhoods and how they see it as they look back, 2 differing realities - so if the differences can be so great between 2 people who have shared a life for many years and to all intent and purposes have shared many of  the same experiences - is it not so difficult to understand why people of differing cultures [not shared collective experiences] cannot comprehend each other... ooooo I have just been handed some fabby German choccy marzipanny jammy thing mmmmmmm, it has been a long day for the German contingency having taken an early flight to Alicante and then go to collect a hire car to drive on down here, so they are all crashing early....zzzzzzz......when the Killers are finished I shall shut down and head for  zeds to........... Wednesday morning and have just gotten back from my sunrise walk with Squidge, all is peaceful in the casa as everyone sleeps and I am feeling so much better that I shall go up to the gym this morning and then see what the day has to bring/offer........ The question of whether we or anyone else deserves something is not really in our jurisdiction. These themes play themselves out in ways we can’t fully comprehend—on the level of the soul, over the course of many lifetimes. What we do know is that the universe has its own way of shifting the balance over the course of time so that all things are ultimately fair. We can trust in this process and understand that when a gift comes our way, it is because we are meant to have it. Otherwise, it would not be available to us. Accepting the gift with gratitude and using it to the best of our ability is true humility. If you would like to begin to make the shift into half-full consciousness, try imagining your life as an empty glass. This is your life without all the people you know, the work you do, your home, or your current state of physical wellbeing. This is just an empty, open space waiting to be filled. Once you have that feeling of openness in your mind, begin filling it with all the people, things, and places that make up your life. You may be surprised to find your glass overflowing. Powered by ScribeFire.

Avalon Moment

Up and out before the sun rose this morning, the mist lying low in the valleys and hiding Alhaurin, Grande y Torre, Cartama and the other habitats dotted between here and the coast, deep red streaks the far horizon with tiny lights twinkling giving away the presence of Malaga, the sun rises blood red from the sea and mountains. After the rains of a couple of weeks ago followed by a true Indian summer, temps back to mid/high 20's, flowers of yellow white and orange bloom brightly amongst the spreading green blanket which covers the mountainsides through winter. Since Friday I have been not so well, it could have been Lorenzo's balls? [albondigas I promise] dodgy batch of wine? a "bug" doing the rounds? or maybe just a good ole emotional clear out? Take yer pick, anyway s'not nice and I am still getting excruciating cramp occasionally :( As is my wont I spent some time thinking/meditating upon it - all pan in solar plexus region which equates to emotions, reflecting on all that has occurred over the past few months even year I guess and it has all been happening at what appears to me at a whirlwind speed, I'm sure it hasn't really, although the past 3 months do seem to have been constant busy-ness, I noted how certain thoughts/topics/events brought a "gut" reaction - literally, so I am experimenting with different ways of dealing with these issues and I need to learn that there is that which NEEDS to be let out in some physical way, verbally or written and sent!! and other stuff which can be sent to the recycling bin and forgotten about and then I find it has ceased to exist anyway :) I have come to realise from odd texts from my J that he feels her is trying to keep a balance in his own funny way, Lau will have nothing to do with her Dad which J feels isn't right, so because she stays in contact with me he feels justified in keeping contact with his Dad and not me, in his eyes it is only fair......it is his path to walk although I admit to a little sadness and a little cramping too, hey ho the joys of watching our babes as adults....... Buzzing buzy bee Val - I have just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd, Sarah gave it to me when I was back in Edinburgh, loved it highly recommended! Well today Kurt and Rufi arrive, Ruth has gone out get in plenty of provisions..... C came round last night, ah poor lady it is but 6 weeks since her Mum died and she is still in that shocked state, but she could off load to me knowing I knew what she was feeling, in fact her first words to me were...... I never really knew what you were feeling when I came to see you last year, I only imagined and now I know nothing can prepare you for the force of that pain when it hits......... She needed to talk and so she did, and needs to do some more so I will go see her Thursday, we were interrupted last night as unbeknown to C, Jules had asked if she could come skype her daughter after 8 when she, J had finished work, so C went on her way.......it's strange knowing of someone's pain so intimately - the is another friend who's sister died a few weeks ago and she too will be in the same space, don't fight it go with it..........for me I can't deny I think it was the worst pain I have ever felt, childbirth, operations even being told I had terminal cancer, which certainly rocked my world for a while, still no comparison!! BUT always see the beauty in each day because there always is and plenty of it if we allow ourselves to see it.... end of Avalon moment Anne and John are back after their summer of sailing and John popped round after a couple of days saying he had been on my roof and spied a few cracked tiles, so although no tiler/roofer with get some cement and mend - he is a perfectionist so I have no doubts to his ability of doing a great job, but how kind is that, bear in mind this gentleman is now in his 70's..... Meloni - thank you, you come to mind each day, some connection that is to fine for us to see :) Much love Brightest Blessings