Up and out before the sun rose this morning, the mist lying low in the valleys and hiding Alhaurin, Grande y Torre, Cartama and the other habitats dotted between here and the coast, deep red streaks the far horizon with tiny lights twinkling giving away the presence of Malaga, the sun rises blood red from the sea and mountains. After the rains of a couple of weeks ago followed by a true Indian summer, temps back to mid/high 20's, flowers of yellow white and orange bloom brightly amongst the spreading green blanket which covers the mountainsides through winter.
Since Friday I have been not so well, it could have been Lorenzo's balls? [albondigas I promise] dodgy batch of wine? a "bug" doing the rounds? or maybe just a good ole emotional clear out? Take yer pick, anyway s'not nice and I am still getting excruciating cramp occasionally :( As is my wont I spent some time thinking/meditating upon it - all pan in solar plexus region which equates to emotions, reflecting on all that has occurred over the past few months even year I guess and it has all been happening at what appears to me at a whirlwind speed, I'm sure it hasn't really, although the past 3 months do seem to have been constant busy-ness, I noted how certain thoughts/topics/events brought a "gut" reaction - literally, so I am experimenting with different ways of dealing with these issues and I need to learn that there is that which NEEDS to be let out in some physical way, verbally or written and sent!! and other stuff which can be sent to the recycling bin and forgotten about and then I find it has ceased to exist anyway :)
I have come to realise from odd texts from my J that he feels her is trying to keep a balance in his own funny way, Lau will have nothing to do with her Dad which J feels isn't right, so because she stays in contact with me he feels justified in keeping contact with his Dad and not me, in his eyes it is only fair......it is his path to walk although I admit to a little sadness and a little cramping too, hey ho the joys of watching our babes as adults.......
Buzzing buzy bee Val - I have just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd, Sarah gave it to me when I was back in Edinburgh, loved it highly recommended!
Well today Kurt and Rufi arrive, Ruth has gone out get in plenty of provisions.....
C came round last night, ah poor lady it is but 6 weeks since her Mum died and she is still in that shocked state, but she could off load to me knowing I knew what she was feeling, in fact her first words to me were......
I never really knew what you were feeling when I came to see you last year, I only imagined and now I know nothing can prepare you for the force of that pain when it hits.........
She needed to talk and so she did, and needs to do some more so I will go see her Thursday, we were interrupted last night as unbeknown to C, Jules had asked if she could come skype her daughter after 8 when she, J had finished work, so C went on her way.......it's strange knowing of someone's pain so intimately - the is another friend who's sister died a few weeks ago and she too will be in the same space, don't fight it go with it..........for me I can't deny I think it was the worst pain I have ever felt, childbirth, operations even being told I had terminal cancer, which certainly rocked my world for a while, still no comparison!! BUT always see the beauty in each day because there always is and plenty of it if we allow ourselves to see it.... end of Avalon moment
Anne and John are back after their summer of sailing and John popped round after a couple of days saying he had been on my roof and spied a few cracked tiles, so although no tiler/roofer with get some cement and mend - he is a perfectionist so I have no doubts to his ability of doing a great job, but how kind is that, bear in mind this gentleman is now in his 70's.....
Meloni - thank you, you come to mind each day, some connection that is to fine for us to see :) Much love
Brightest Blessings
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