First many many many thanks to the lovely kind and caring emails I have received they mean a lot to me - I loves you all
Well my babe is in intensive care with more tubes needles monitors etc attached and my reaction was the same on first sight as that of 27 n a bit years ago and I was allowed to see J for the first time in Glasgow childrens hospital in his wee incubator with too many things attached - freak out time I couldn't stay - just ran out floods of tears well whaddya expect - Zoe a star she stayed with him for a wee while but he is so heavily sedated that I dubt he was aware except on a very deep level that anyone was there - he is under pretty much constant observation in a wee room of his own right next to the nurse's station and one pops in every 30/60 seconds or that is how it looked - visiting is only a half hour 3 times a day - Zoe spoke to the Doctor and the reality is it can go either way - stabilising his BP is proving to be a real problem and now there is some fluid on his lungs........I am working hard not to get caught up in too much emotional stuff and keep repeating to myself he IS getting better, sleeping is proving a bit of a problem so went to chemist last night and asked for something to chill me out a bit and the guy who manages it is very holistic in his approach and much to my delight offered my a natural pill first quite a heavy dose of valerian and pasflora and told me to mental yoga {as if I wouldn't lol} lots of deep slow breathing yep doing that as well - just sometimes I can't hold it together panic sets in and all my good intentions appear washed away. I am so relieved to know Paul will be here in a few hours and all being good Lau on Monday and Leigh probably is too as tonight she can return to her own bed and a proper night's sleep - as she has stayed awake with me and we just talk and talk anything everything - doesn't matter........
we are collecting Paul about 11 ish then have a coffee and roll to waste a little time before returning to hospital - Zoe gave them her mobile number to call if anything changed through the night - so no news is GOOD news si?
OK guys off to get sorted for the next set of events - brightest blessings be with you xx
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